*I wrote this to be published but it was too opinion-y so it didn’t pass the bar. Since I wrote it, though, I figured I’d just share it here.*
Have you ever seen the show Ridiculousness? It’s a clip show consisting of fails from around the internet. In most of the videos, someone does something stupid and we all laugh. On occasion, however, there is a video that makes no sense. It’s someone trying to put a bottle rocket in their ass or some kid who walks up to a group of black people and farts right in the middle of their conversation. These moments have two things in common: one, the videos always make you question what they thought was going to happen other than get bit or get ass beat. Two, the people doing those particular videos are always always white people.
That brings us to the Lakers and Hawks in Atlanta on Monday night. I was watching the game and it all seemed fine and good until “Courtside Karen” made her presence known on national TV. A quick glance at her instagram story which has already gone viral reveals that she felt that LeBron had said something to her husband that she took exception to. To quote her:
“I see this and I stand up say don’t fucking talk to my husband! And he looks at me and says sit the fuck down bitch. And I say dont fucking call me a bitch you fucking sit down get the fuck out of here. Don’t talk to my husband like that! Don’t talk to my husband!”
Ok. After digesting the live event and her comments I had more questions than answers. The questions included the following:
Why isn’t she speaking on what her husband said? Does ANYONE actually believe that LeBron just started yelling at some dude randomly? Karen. Say more.
Where the hell is her husband? In the videos I’ve seen she’s sitting with another woman. It’s not the most important question but it feels weird given her story. They don’t even sit together?
Has she been to a basketball game before? Ever?
WHY THE HELL ARE PEOPLE EVEN COURTSIDE AT A GAME WITH NBA COVID PROTOCOLS? If Kyrie and Bam can’t dap after a game how is this white lady allowed to sit in Karen-range of any player?
Does anyone else think that she loves all of this?
Has she been to a basketball game ever?
WHO IS THE HUSBAND?
What in the world led this woman to behave this way?
I don’t have the answers to all the questions but I can quickly recognize two things I’ve seen repeatedly throughout my career. First, people with privilege truly believe that they are infallible. Truth is, they usually are. Why? Because they can financially bless people around them. Ever heard the saying “don’t bite the hand that feeds you?” The implication with that phrase is that when someone is helpful, you do everything in your power not to mess it up. Well I don’t think many people consider what it’s like to be the hand. That feeding hand usually LOVES that it is never bitten. I know some people who seek wealth simply for the fact that they can’t ever be checked again. Kanye said it best before he became Kanye 2.0: wait til I get my money right, then you can’t tell me nothing right. America is literally built on the idea that being richer and having less melanin means that manifest destiny is just a blank check away.
The story should end right here. Some dude named Chris talks trash to LeBron, Lebron wins the game, fin -- just like most other nights in the NBA. But this time Carlos’ wife jumped in and completely changed the story. Why? The answer brings me to my second point. In short, nobody alive enjoys the fruits of privilege more and faces less consequences than white women. Truly. Have you ever met a white lady who felt way too comfortable just saying anything they had to say? One that felt too comfortable doing whatever they wanted to do? No? Have you met a white lady at all? You must have at least seen any of the viral videos from the past couple years that attest to this. I saw a video of a beautiful white woman doing an interview and her voice was hoarse as can be. She then told the interviewer she had covid and he should get tested. I literally yelled out loud “WHO DOES THAT?”
This isn’t to say that white people are the only ones to get out of pocket at a game but I can say with all the authority my experience has to offer that usually if a black person in the stands has that much to say it’s because they’re related to a player on the court. It’s usually that player's mother or it’s LaVar Ball. They don’t like nobody messing with their baby. My own mom has said that statement more times than I can count. But who are these people so upset who have literally no ties to anyone on the court and feel so strongly that they need to cause a scene? Maybe we should ask Westbook who he had tossed in Utah. Better yet, I should review the tape of the Malice in the Palace to see who threw a beer on Mr World Peace that made him change into Mr World War in an instant.
Ok. So I sit back and I feel compelled to dismantle this 25 year old woman who, without checking at all, is clearly an influencer and might be secretly loving all of this. But it’s bigger than her. It’s about her obviously, but for me it’s also Chris Carlos who started something that his wife finished for him. It’s the money that someone spends to sit courtside in a pandemic for me. It’s her overtalking and his lack of comment for me. It’s the IG model who chose to speak to America through some sort of very sparkly filter for me. Seriously, has anyone ever said “fuck” so much while their blouse looks like fireworks? The filter is called “Pure Baby Face” cause, of course.
So what's the point of all of this? The point is that we all can see in real time something we have known long since before the death of Emmit Till. It’s that white women can easily play the victim when they are caught acting like they have no sense and get sympathy for it immediately. One time, I caught a white woman stealing my wallet at a bar. Since it was San Diego, I knew I might not be believed so when I caught her hand in my pocket grabbing my wallet, I grabbed her hand and yanked it up. I immediately showed it to a security guard who was two yards away. She started crying and I was thrown out. I never even got to explain what happened. THIS is the part that I hate when I see a video like this. A young woman is clearly out here doing something that, at the very least, is so wild that every NBA fan was taken aback, but then she plays the victim because she’s used to it. I’m sure that in her experience that has always worked for her. Well, young lady, LeBron is bigger than the BS. We all see you. We know you. It’s not all good. We are glad you got tossed. And it’s not because you deserved it, but because you finally had a consequence greater than your self imposed victimhood. Hopefully you have time to think while on time-out.